That Just Isn't Fair You Cheat!
by AngelKougaeri
Summary: Follow up to 'The Downside Of Having Feline DNA'. My attempt at humor, Alec gets revenge. Read and review, go on!


**A/N: Me again! So this took a little longer than i thought...oops. But i have been busy with my Pitch Black fic and a ton of coursework. Sorry for the delay!**

**I'm not really a humor writer, but i'm trying to build on it so. Hope you like! Read and review, feedback is loved andextremely helpful!-x-x-**

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**That Just Isn't Fair You Cheat**

**Follow-up to 'The Downside Of Having Feline DNA'**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, yadda yadda – I know! I own shit all…'sniffle' this part always upsets me…well I own nothin' but Mel, she's mine! Slight Logan bashing, sorry…**

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Collapsing onto her bed in a heap, Max let out a heavy sigh. Another night in Seattle, another successful heist, another happy 'we've-saved-the-world-again-I'm-so-happy-there's-sunshine-erupting-from-my-ass' Logan. Why was he bugging her so much lately anyway? Well whatever the reason she'd get past it.

The pager at her side suddenly went off and grumbling, the female X5 launched it across the room where it shattered as it hit the wall. 'Give me five minutes to myself, geez…' Kicking off her shoes and peeling the leather jacket away, Max sunk into the duvet beneath her. Shark DNA or not, she needed some rest after today and then Crash was definitely a top priority on her to do list. Beer was good, but for now it could wait…

* * *

JamPony

"Where the fire trucks is Max this morning huh? Huh? Any of you feckless idiots have a clue? And I don't wanna hear any crap that she's sick, or her 'Great Uncle-Thingy-Mah-Bob' was in some great international crisis involving pigmy shrews!" Normal made a pointed glare at Sketchy, who looked away sheepishly at his feet. "Or any kinda baloney. Find out where Missy Miss is or she's fired and you're all working double shifts for the week!" Stomping back behind his perch at dispatch, Normal ignored the bemused comments and snickering as he got back to work.

Alec, who was sat with OC and Mel, the black woman's new 'licketyboo', raised a curious eyebrow at Normal's rant and turned to the couple who sat opposite him on the sofa's that had obviously seen better days. "OC?" Alec inquired with a look, but the darker skinned woman only shook her head.

"Don't be askin me where she is sugar, Original Cindy wasn't home last night." With a wink and a grin, OC's eyes, flitted to the brown-eyed blonde with a caramel tan sat alongside her. "I thought she was with you last night. Anyhow, weren't you boo's workin' on some whacked out…uh." Catching herself Original Cindy paused. "You know, helping Logan?" She pursed her full lips and adjusted in her seat uncomfortably whilst Alec shrugged nonchalantly, checking out a slim redhead co-worker who passed by, sending him a flirty a smile.

"Uh, yeah. Said she was headed home to change then she'd be back in Crash but she never showed. I figured she was with you." Shrugging again, he rose from his seat and made his way to the payphone. "Spose I should check up on her, see if she's okay." 'Not that she'll be too happy about it' He inwardly muttered.

* * *

Beeping. Where the heck was that beeping coming from? Bolting upright, Max rubbed her temples and adjusted her unfocussed eyes. "Oh what…" Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and prowling over to where she'd launched her pager at the wall the earlier, Max's eyes widened in recoiling horror. "I broke you, you stupid piece of junk how are you still capable of interrupting the peace around here?" She whined to no one in particular and glanced at the number, a confused frown creasing her brow. 

Only a few moments later was she in the kitchenette with a fresh cup of coffee and the phone in her hand, dialling in to call Alec.

"This better be good Alec." She drawled, her voice still tinged with sleep.

_"Max, hey!" _Came the ever-chipper reply. She could almost hear the smirk plastering it's way across his face. _"Where are you?" _Eyebrows rising, Max leant back onto the counter and set the steaming cup of coffee to her side.

"I _was_ having the best sleep I've had in months, you know, considering the shark DNA and everything. The body has to catch up you know, but then _you_ woke me up." Her voice took on a slight hint of anger, which the male X5 decided to ignore with a sigh.

_"Well, Normal's been threatenin to can your ass all morning, so I think it might be an idea to get into work before you have to find employment elsewhere." _Max scowled.

"Is this a joke? I know you're still pissed bout that cat incident, but really, Alec, tryin to trick me into work at this hour? Not gonna work." She heard him sigh over the phone and a satisfied smile stretched across her features.

_"Max, I'm not jokin'. Check your watch, its past lunch. I guessed when you didn't show at Crash that you were with OC, but she said she was out with her new…'licketyboo'." _Max held her breath. She'd slept in? No! No way, even when she did sleep it was only for like an hour or two, okay maybe three sometimes but…no way. Turning around to glance at the clock hanging above the front door to the apartment, Max's eye's widened with horror. _"Max?….. Oh Maxie?" _Alec sing sang from the end of the line.

He must have snuck into the apartment when she was asleep and altered the time, he just had to have because that's the kind of thing Alec would do. Right? Trudging to the curtains that covered the large windows, Max yelped and spun on her heel heading back towards the kitchen as the light that flooded the once dark apartment, temporarily blinded her unprepared eyes. "Ow, ow, ow…. son of a bi…" She heard the stifled chuckle from the phone and restrained herself from launching it across the room.

"Crap." She muttered to herself angrily. "Uh, I'll be there soon, suck up to Normal for me? Gotta blaze, later!" Hanging up before he had chance to reply Max shot to the bathroom to begin getting ready for work. She'd slept in! This had to be a first. She'd been having such a great dream too. Okay so scratch that, it had been an oddly nice…but definitely disturbing dream about Alec. 'Wrong, so very wrong.' She repeated to herself mentally.

* * *

JamPony.

Alec looked at the receiver with a raised brow and pursed his lips. Hanging up he shrugged and skitted back over to OC and Mel who were still fawning over one another on the beaten up sofa. "I'm not interrupting am I ladies am I?" He smirked sitting on the arm of his seat, and jumped back slightly when OC threw a swift kick in his direction. "WHOA! Now OC, all you had to say was go, geez." Held his hands up and Mel grinned as OC stared him down.

"Pretty boy, you're just begging for a butt kickin'." She drawled as she settled back into her seat. Alec pouted and batted his eyes at her.

"Aw, c'mon Cin, you wouldn't do that to your good pal Alec now, would you?" He grinned boyishly and she snorted at him as she inspected her well-manicured nails.

"Hmm, I'm pretty sure my home girl wouldn't mind putting your behind in the ground." Alec rolled his eyes; his behind always came up for some reason didn't it? Suddenly something occurred to OC. "Oh god, Alec I forgot to tell her not to use the blue shampoo bottle! Call her; see if you can catch her before she gets in the shower! Go, go!" The transgenic looked at her with a confused frown and when he opened his mouth to complain, he found himself being shoved back in the direction of the pay phone. "GO!" Deciding that it was best if he didn't argue with the feisty human.

"Women!" He grumbled as he hit the side of the machine and dialled in Max's home number.

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Tilting her head, Max smiled to herself as the warm water caressed her body, rinsing away what was remaining of the soap and reaching for the shampoo bottle, she began to squeeze a large amount of the contents into her hair. 'Smells different. Peppermint…?' Shrugging, she put the bottle back in its place by the sink and began working the thick gel into a lather. Or, what should have been a lather. 

Frowning, Max drew a hand from her hair and inspected it. Eyes bulging with rage and confusion, she tried to rinse the substance out of her hair but found it she was fighting with it. "Damnit! What the hell is this…?" Rubbing furiously at her hair Max's attention was grabbed by the phone ringing from the kitchenette. The water started to go cold and she yelped jumping from the shower.

Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her, she marched from the bathroom and grabbed the phone. "What!" At the end of the line, she heard a sigh.

_"It's me again, look OC said something about not usin' a blue bottle of shampoo."_ Max's eyes narrowed.

"And you're tellin' me this now!" Alec held the receiver away from his ear and winced slightly. "I'm gonna kick your ass pretty boy, just you frickin wait till I get my hands around your stupid neck!" Blinking at the threat, he cleared his throat.

_"Um, Maxie. I'm not the one who's to blame here. OC just told me to call you up now." _Max breathed and slowly calmed herself down. He was right, he wasn't the one to blame but then a chuckle escaped his lips and she tensed. _"Why, what's in the bottle?"_ Her jaw tightened.

"Tell OC I'm gonna kick her ass!" Alec flinched at the level of her voice. Surely Manticore didn't aim to have their enhanced human weapons armed with voices _that_ loud, after all they were supposed to be stealthy weren't they. "I'm gonna swing her by her frickin hair UNTIL MY ARMS SNAP!" By now, Alec had the receiver at arms length, and was pretty sure that OC and almost anyone within five feet or so could hear the raging woman. "I'm gonna snap her damn fingers and …just…UGH!" Again Alec winced at the power of the vocals.

_"Relax Max, it can't be that bad."_ He whined, his eardrum positively humming, ready to burst.

"Relax? Can't be that bad? YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WITH TOOTHPASTE IN YOUR DAMN HAIR!" Gritting his teeth Alec closed his eyes and rubbed wearily at his temples. The image of Max stranded, seething in her apartment wearing nothing but a towel and toothpaste in her hair was very amusing, but with her screaming down his ear, all ideas of humour and witty comebacks were thrown out of the window, as it were.

_"Well just wash it out then, hell Maxie. No need to shoot the messenger." _His words didn't seem to help.

"I _would_ but there's no damn shampoo _pretty boy_! I used up all the hot water and _who_ the hell puts toothpaste in a shampoo bottle anyhow?" Glad that the female X5 was sounding ever so slightly calmer, but non-the less aggravated, he let out a deep sigh.

_"OC apparently."_ He drawled. _"Look, I've gotta bounce, Normal's gonna try and make us all pull double shifts if you don't get in here. He's fired two people in the last three days, and we're already strainin'."_ He thought about that for a moment with a smirk. _"Well…not me in particular, but you get the gist of it."_ The silence from Max made him roll his eyes. _"I'll swing by on break with some shampoo later, kay?"_ Max made a sort of grumbling noise about making sure he got her favourite to which he sighed and hung up, leaving the brunette to cool down. Hopefully.

* * *

It had been two hours since she'd spoken, well, rather screamed at Alec down the phone and now Max was just plain furious. Sat drumming her fingers on the kitchenette as she leaned against it, scowling at the cupboards. He was really pushing it for time. She'd tried using the cold water to wash the toothpaste out, but it only gave her a headache. She'd put quite a bit in there too, and now her usually lush long hair was dull, matted and rather minty fresh. 

Flicking an angry glare at the clock Max finally cracked and grabbed a hold of the phone, dialling in Alec's cell number for the fifth time since his call from JamPony.

* * *

Eying the bottle in his hand, Alec took another bite out of his lunch held in his other. It had taken him nearly an hour running around Seattle looking for that damn bottle of shampoo that Max had specifically asked for, or rather, demanded earlier. 

Why couldn't she have just settled for any run of the mill shampoo that most places sold, instead of some stupid expensive cherry-blossom crap that he had to dig for on the black market? 'Eighty six bucks for frickin bottle of stupid shampoo!' He frowned. He just did not and doubted he would ever understand women, especially transgenic women. Especially Max.

Strolling casually into JamPony, he pointedly diverted his path out of the way of Normal and wound his way to his locker finishing the sandwich, pulling out his bag and tossing the bottle inside with a huff. "Hey Alec, c'mere look what Sketch found!" Turning to face the owner of the voice Alec looked dimly interested at the two who sat around a table on the sofa grinning when a flash of light spiked his curiosity.

"Guys." His trademark smirk sparkling as he approached, the feline in him picking up on another's worry, when at the sight before him, his eyes widened before narrowing in suspicion and surprise. "What the hell…"

"Isn't she cute! Dude watch!" Sketchy sat with a small wriggling bundle in his arms and began to meow. Alec's ears pricked with the sound of faint mewing from the bundle. "Cute huh? Found her out in sector eight in a dumpster." He grinned, as the X5 stared down at the grey and white kitten that crawled down into his friends lap.

"Uh…" Alec instantly locked eyes with OC who looked at him with a knowing grin and pulled up a camera, snapping a shot of his dumbstruck expression before he could register what she was doing. "Hey! What the hell are you playin at!" He whined, spots temporarily dancing across his vision.

"Sorry sugar, but when there's a Kodak moment and Original Cindy is armed with a camera, it has to be done. Besides, it'll cheer Max up to see you lookin so dumb." He scowled at her and the black woman bit her tongue with a grin as her shoulders shook. "Don't worry boo, kitty's a lil young if you know what I mean." Alec scowled and OC raised the camera again with a mischievous grin.

"Nuh-uh, no you don't." Smirked the male transgenic as he jumped forward and snatched the device from Original Cindy's clutches, scatting away to avoid the slap she aimed at his head. Sketchy's eyes widened.

"Um, Alec can you be a careful with that man?" Alec gave him a funny look. "C'mon it cost me four hundred bucks for that camera dude, don't break it on me!" Alec rolled his eyes and sat down next to Sketch, carefully noting that he was a safe distance from OC.

"Man, c'mon I'm not gonna break it on ya." He muttered.

"Boy, shouldn't you be getting to Max? She's gonna kick your pretty ass sugar, if you don't hurry up." He looked at the black woman with a grin as an evil thought suddenly crossed his mind and OC narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What'chu grinning at?" She watched as his eyes fell onto the camera in his hands and then rose to Sketchy.

"Hey, Sketch. You mind if I borrow this till we meet up at Crash later? I'll take real good care of it I swear." He flashed his trademark grin and passed off a near innocent expression before adding. "Hell I'll even get the first couple of rounds in." Sketch eyed Alec warily but slowly began to nod.

"Alright man, but I swear, you break it, you buy it." Alec clapped his friend on the back and jumped up from his seat as OC finally processed an idea of what he was up to.

"Oh, hell no! Alec you better not even be thinking of doin' what I think you are!" Lunging forward to retrieve the camera OC was halted in her tracks by a blindingly familiar flash. "Damnit! ALEC! I'M GONNA LAY THE SMACK DOWN ON YOUR ASS!" She yelled as Sketch burst out laughing at the two, not having the foggiest about what it was over, but still amused.

"Now that my dear friends, IS a Kodak moment." Alec sing sang as he tossed the camera carelessly into his bag and made his escape. "Later!" Normal 's brow shot up as his Golden Boy shot out of the front entrance.

"Hey, package! Package!" Rolling his eyes, Alec dashed back in grabbed the package and was back on his way to Max's. "Thank you!" Turning his attention to his slacking workers, Normal scowled and yelled over to them. "No pets or vermin in the work place Sketchy. Out, out, out and get to work! The both of you! BIP BIP BIP!" He retreated, sneezing back to dispatch, at the dark glare that Original Cindy bore into him, with a grumble about violent workers and slackers.

* * *

Max sat on the kitchenette with a coffee in hand and scowling deep in thought at how she was going to make Alec pay for her missing work. OC's punishment for the whole incident was simple: hide all of her manicure stuff and fill her favourite pair of boots up with trash. Nothing too mean – but enough to get her point across. Maybe she could swap OC's shampoo for shaving foam… 

A sudden knock at the front door almost made Max jump. She hadn't heard footsteps at all. Setting the mug down on the side, she slipped off the surface and moved to the door, peeping out of the spy hole in the door to see Alec stood staring at a bottle in his hand curiously. Almost ripping the door from its hinges Max glared at the male X5. "About damn time! Where the frickin hell have you been!" Before she could carry on, Max saw a grin sweep over his face, hazel eyes sparkling and then a flash.

"You're welcome Maxie." She heard him laugh as a bottle was pushed into her hands, dots blurring her vision. Slowly it hit her what had happened.

"You asshole! You frickin jackass! I'm gonna break your stupid neck!" Lunging forward as her eyesight return to her, Max grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the wall, his laughter ringing in her ears. Her hair was a complete mess, not even the band she had used to tie it up with, could hide the large white chunks of toothpaste that had encrusted into her dark mane. The smell of mint lingering in the air. How much had she used? The whole bottle?

"Aww c'mon Max, revenge is sweet." She looked at him dumbly. "You know, my little run in with that cat? Now it's your turn to feel stupid." He leaned forward. "Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner!" Max's anger boiled but before she had a chance to beat him over the head and grab the camera, he pushed her back into the apartment and blurred down the hall.

"That just isn't fair you cheat!" Pouting Max looked down at the bottle in her hands, but still managed to shout out after his retreating form. "I HATE YOU!" Before slamming the door shut and heading back towards the bathroom.

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**Loved it? Hated it? **

**Review please!**

**-x-**


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